On wanting love

This is part 1 of the ‘Lover Girl’ series

No matter how full of joy and love my life is, I still want a romantic relationship. 

I’m not miserable without one, but there’s still a space that nothing else quite fills the same way. 

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on why that is. When I softened my edges to win someone over. When I made myself smaller to keep a relationship. And even when I am happily single. 

I think… I finally have the answer.

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The campaign to find myself 

As I was recovering from a heartbreak, I confided in my friend Denise how overwhelming it was to think of life as indefinite. You have no idea when it will all end, how many more heartbreaks lie ahead, or if your dreams will ever even come true.

I’m not saying I wish for a terminal illness, but there’s a certain clarity that comes with a definite time frame, like “you have three months to live.” You know exactly how long you need to hold on and can focus on making the most of that time. Perhaps it was because of my background as a consultant. My professional life is structured around campaigns with specific objectives and KPIs to meet in three months, six months, or a year.

Denise said, “So, why not create a campaign for yourself? Give yourself three months to recover and move on.” So, I did.

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