Back in January, I started taking classes at STEPS Dance Academy. I had only one goal: to get fit. I ended up learning so much more this past one month and a half about myself and living life. Here are five lessons that keep me coming back to the dance floor:

1. I look myself in the eyes and believe I’m beautiful

The hardest part when I first started dancing was to look at my reflection in the mirror. It made me self conscious. I got in my own head and started nitpicking: the way I look, the way my stiff body moves, they way I butcher the choreography.

My second class, I had a new teacher named Gebinath. He spent probably the first half of the class just telling us to feel ourselves and dance to the music. “No problem,” I thought. I closed my eyes and started to move. “No, with your eyes open,” Gebinath said. “Damn,” I muttered internally. It was that much harder.

He didn’t stop there. Gebinath told us to walk around the room while dancing and, when we bumped into each other, we couldn’t look away. We had to look each other in the eyes and dance with them. It worked. We felt more relaxed and confident. I danced better that day than I did in my first class.

Some time after, I was introduced to a new teacher, Nada. She told the class to look in the mirror, stop bullying ourselves for our body, and focus instead on our movement. “Look at how each part of your body moves. Find a way that feels most comfortable to move that part. Find a way that feels the most you.”

Then, I had Jessy. She told the class to look deeply into the reflection of our own eyes, and feel like we were the sexiest. The prettiest. The best. “Send your reflection a message,” she said.

This was not a lesson I learnt in one class. I had to repeat it class after class, with teacher after teacher. The exercises differed, but the lesson remained the same. Today, I can comfortably look in the mirror and believe myself when I feel strong and beautiful.

2. How I dress affects how I feel

In my first few classes, I wore the baggiest t-shirt I could find and the most unflattering tights. I thought to myself, “I’m here to sweat. I don’t get to look pretty.” Combined with my love-hate relationship with the mirror at the time, my outfit didn’t make learning the first lesson any easier.

That was until another teacher, Desta, told the class to freshen up before we did our showcase. “Go ahead, fix your hair, fix your clothes, fix your shoes. Look good, so you can feel good.”

His words hit me. It’s true… Look isn’t everything, but looking crappy doesn’t help either. It’s OK to dress up to lift ourselves up. Nothing shallow or shameful in that.

3. Progress comes to those who train, not those who stop from frustration

I’ve always been a “fast learner” my whole life. So, sometimes — and it will sound arrogant — when I pick up something I expect to pick it up in an instant. And dancing is a great way for me to unlearn that expectation.

With dancing, there’s no shortcut. I have to train and train my muscles to move in ways that I’ve never used them in. I practice chest isolation standing up while brushing my teeth, sitting down at work, lying down before sleep. I have to move past my frustration, which comes with the slow and repetitive process that sometimes bears only small results.

Now I have a new mantra: “Some progress is better than none.” I learn to enjoy the uphill battle and embrace my imperfection. The best part? Little triumphs when I surprise myself for nailing a move I’ve been practicing with a higher level of comfort and less exertion.

4. I focus less on fearing judgment and more on sharing joy

I went to my first class with my friend, Ifa. Both of us were dancing noobs so we agreed not to tell anyone about taking the class. We feared that our friends might want to join and, if they did, they would witness the two of us making fools of ourselves.

After a few classes, however, I forgot about the fear. All I could think about was the lessons I reaped from my dancing experience, and the immense joy I felt after every class. I couldn’t not share it.

So, I posted my first dance video on Instagram Story. I was a bit nauseous anticipating possible judgment that might come my way over how badly I danced. Instead, I received tons of positive reinforcement. On top of these, I had dozens of friends approaching me wanting to join the academy.

Today, seeing their dance videos on my feed made me doubly happy. The community grew larger and larger, infecting more people with happiness and love for dancing.

5. I dance best when I dance for myself

No matter how complex or how simple the choreography is, I learnt that I dance best when I’m not trying to put on a performance. When I just listen to the music, let the rhythms enter my body, and pour my heart into what I’m feeling from the song at that exact moment. When I care about nothing else but learning to be comfortable in my body and push my boundaries. I dance best when I’m not trying to prove a point — to myself or to the rest of the world.

Credits:

Photographs from Stocksnap and Pixabay